Okay, so I want to haunt people after I die, but I don’t believe in ghosts = problem.
Here’s my plan. I’ll put in my will that if I die in a suspicious way, I should be buried in a pod along with a tree seed (this is a thing – look it up), and the tree will grow out of me. Therefore, I am the tree. Our souls are intertwined.
Anyway, then my arch-nemesis will move into the house just underneath my long, supple branches, and during a storm, I’ll get knocked over and fall on the house.
Bingo. I haunted someone.
Perfect plan. 10/10. What could go wrong?