If any one of my friends ever said the word “whilst,” then I’m quitting friendship with that person forever, lighting their teddy bears on fire, and moving at least a thousand miles away.

I hate that word so much. It’s so pretentious. It’s just like, come on. Say while. It’s okay. We’re in the new age. Lots of stuff is happening. Way too much to think to use the word whilst. Ugh.


Who am I kidding? I have no friends. This is all just a thought exercise.