I hate ice skating. Really hate it.

I’ve fallen down on ice skates more times than I can count. I’m surprised I have knee caps left.

The only way I’m ever putting them on again is if I’m trying to escape the villain in a light-hearted Christmas movie so that I can deliver the gift shoes to the kid who has cancer in time to save Father Christmas, despite the elves who didn’t really help all that much but look at how cute their ears and shoes are.