I may not be the first person to feed a cow chocolate in an attempt to pre-make chocolate milk, but I am the person to stubbornly do it the longest with zero results.

This is my 137th attempt, and the farmer who owns the cow doesn’t even try to stop me anymore. He just sets up a lawn chair and watches. I think he might be a

serial killer

someone who collects wet naps from around the world

voyeur.