If you keep hearing “wow, that’s crazy” or “who would’ve thought?” or “that’s just the way things go, I guess,” then you need to start wrapping up your stories sooner.

Nobody wants to hear it. You are the story equivalent of a cassette player. Old, low sound quality, and something nobody wants to listen to.

And nobody wants to stick their finger in you to wind the freaking tape back in, because it gets stuck and unravels in my car while I’m at an intersection and someone’s beeping behind me and mind your own business you can wait like two seconds.