I was driving through my town yesterday, and there was a beggar on a street corner with a cozy fold-out chair and a beer in the armrest holder. He was reclining back and holding up the cardboard sign with his foot.

Now, I’m as compassionate as the next person, but that looks like lazy begging to me. I’m a lazy person, but that’s too lazy. I prefer my baggers to be uncomfortable to win my money.

Now the ones who are standing in the rain or snow, they are for reals. I still didn’t give to them, but they’re for reals. I gave them mental money in the form of a respect nod.