When I took my shower this morning, I thought about how dangerous it is to be in one. When you think about it, you’re spending 10-20 minutes (45 minutes for me for some reason) in the slippery-est spot in your entire home for a prolonged period of time. Then on top of that, you’re adding a liquid form of the slippery-est product you have in your home (soap), and then doing possibly the most exercise in your day (moving around while scrubbing your body).

Put all that together, and it’s a miracle we survive each and every day this horror we call a shower.

I’ll just stay dirty, thank you very much. I’m not going on many dates these days anyway.