So, I’m laying out my work outfits for the week, and I’m struck with how tightly fitted many of them are. They’re so uncomfortable.

It’s not fair when the guys have looser polos and all that.

I’ll show them. On Monday, I’ll come in wearing the loosest fitting of them all, my shower curtain draped over my naked body. I’ll clasp it together with clothespins. That’ll show em.