So there’s a lot of talk about basic human rights these days, like healthcare, freedom of speech, treatment from government, etc.

I have one for you. This is a basic human right I hold near and dear to my heart…the basic human right to not be made to feel guilty by charities.

That’s right…I’m a stingy bitch. I’m cheap. I’m a hoarder. And I don’t apologize for it.

Oh, is that dog hungry on TV? That’s nice. Does your hamster have the Bubonic Plague of the 2nd left toe? So sad for you. Illiterate, left-handed circus clowns in need? Don’t we all have problems?

It’s constant pestering. And don’t even get me started on that bell ringer at Christmas time. That guy needs to give that bell a break every 30 seconds. That constant ringing is begging for a swift kick to the balls.

Falalalalalalalala.