You hear all the time of people who get paid to be beautiful, but I don’t have that, so how can I be paid not to be beautiful?

I feel like there should be something.

Maybe a spoof magazine? Or I could put on a beautiful person’s face as a mask. A plastic mask, relax.

Maybe I could be paid to stand next to moderately beautiful people to make them more beautiful by comparison. It’s worth a shot.

I’m accepting applications to get in on my schedule next week.