I swear to God that parrots are dinosaurs.

They’re cold blooded killers. I was in a pet shop recently, and one of the exotic parrots, a giant pterodactyl, looked me right in the eye and licked its lips.

It was a beak, and I don’t think they even have spit in their mouths, but you get what I mean.

They have like razor claws and stuff. I don’t know if they eat meat, but this bird wished I was on a platter with an apple in my mouth.

It should’ve been glad it wasn’t on the menu, because at $732 per chicken tender from that thing, it would’ve been the most expensive meal I’ve ever eaten.