More Things That Aren’t Real

How do we know that the telegraph was even real?

I think it was just a bunch of tricksters who all agreed to listen intently as weird boops and bleeps happened and then pretend they mean something. And then…

That’ll be thirteen cents, m’lady.

What a bunch of assholes. Gertrude Flander’s sister in the brand new city of Salamazoo, California really didn’t lose her son Alamanzo to a freak cotton gin tanqueray accident right after his horse-driven buggy ride to the bustling town of five thousand people. That message was all a lie.





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