It really irritates me how, at the worst possible time, my chair rubs against the corner of my desk and makes a fart sound.

I swear the entire office things I have a flatulence problem, all because of my goddam cheap ass chair from the family owned furniture store downtown.

If they hadn’t risked everything to open that store just so sixty years later they could sell that chair to my boss three years ago, everyone would know that I only have normal amounts of issues with flatulence.