You always see in those Baywatch type movies where people run in slow motion, with their guy and lady bits bouncing up and down. I mean, they’re nice bits, but they’re still bits.

I think I should run places in slow motion more, as clearly it makes that person more attractive and desirable.

Which also sounds like a lot of work. Maybe instead I’ll just get everyone around me to speed up. I’ll walk while everyone else runs.

I like it. Tell the masses.