If I had to boil down what old people taste like, I’d say butterscotch candy and the lining of empty catheter bags.

Don’t ask me how I know this.

If you’re old, don’t let this offend you. Have you tasted yourself lately? You might find yourself agreeing with me. Don’t blame the messenger.

It’s the same flavor if I were to boil down The Price is Right. Don’t doubt me.