If I were on the Titanic, I’d be one of the band members, playing until the ship sank.

Not because I’m brave, but because I don’t know when to quit.

I’d probably be playing chicken with the violinist to my right, who gives me that look like he’ll keep playing even as his strings are completely submerged.

Also, I suck at instruments, so the last thing those pitiful people will hear is me wacking away at the tambourine. Nothing says, “hope you make it” like a tambourine-led classical music song.