I have no power due to an asshole storm that lasted 30 minutes, and now I can’t do a single thing I want to.

I can’t turn on my TV or desktop, and my tablet and phone both need wifi to do much of anything. Satellite internet on my phone is slower than my Uncle’s urine stream.

Really the only thing I have that works solely off batteries and not wifi is my vibrator. And I can only use that exclusively for so many hours before the lower half of my body goes numb.