I want to be one of those cheese snobs so badly.

Like where there’s a group of people sitting around an oval platter of cheese, grouped by world region (the cheese is grouped, not the people).

All the cheese is on snobby toothpicks, and people hold them with their snobby pinkie finger out. Oh, and there’s tea and rich people crackers and stuff.

And it’s on a yacht.

And there’s French wine. And hot waiters without shirts on.

Goddamn, I’m too poor for my imagination.