You know what, since I make up most of my boyfriends anyway, I might as well not restrict myself to the realm of reality.

I used to say my boyfriend is Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but from now on, my boyfriend is Santa Claus, when I’m not dating the Grinch. Of course, that’s in between my weekends of having threesomes with Rodger rabbit, a leprechaun, and that Abominable Snowman from the claymation Rudolph.