You know how in MMORPG games like World of Warcraft they get interesting names for all other items. Nothing is just named staff or sword, it has to be something like Claymore of Carnage, or something like that.

It’s really unfair that we don’t have interesting names like that for everyday items, so I decided to change that. Looking around my desk at my day job, I decided to name things. Today I used the Stapler of the Chasm Sealer and the Great Letter Opener of Stabby-Stab

Tomorrow, I’m bringing in the Foghorn of Drowning Out the Boss.