I have this weird peanut butter eating habit where I put my face in the jar and lick peanut butter off the top. Of course, this only works when the level of peanut butter is pretty high.

Naturally, my roommate, whom I share the jar with, has objections to this, which I find unreasonable. I should be free to eat peanut butter however I fucking want in this gorgeous, voluptupus free country of mine.

I either need a new gross peanut butter eating habit or a new roommate. I’m thinking the latter.