My horoscope for today reads:
You’re feeling the soul crushing jaws of loneliness creeping up more than usual today. Someone will recognize your bright idea, but mostly your coworker will steal your coffee creamer when you’re not looking.
You’re about to start a new adventure, but mostly, you’re still waiting for that box of Beanie Babies to come back in value.
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If my beanie babies from the ‘90s are worth anything at all, that’s all profit to me, as I stole them.
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