I just spotted the headline of a news article that claimed to say why people shouldn’t make a toilet paper V on a toilet seat.

To be honest, I didn’t even read it, because the thought of not creating a toilet paper V makes me uncontrollably shiver. I can’t think of any tragedy that could befall me by using the toilet paper configuration that would be worse than touching my bare ass to a public toilet seat.

I would much rather have toilet paper fuzzies clinging to my butt all day long then contract toilet seat cooties.

No thank you.