I’m sure my friends and family wished I was more like Julie Andrews when it comes to gift giving and Christmas time.

I mean, brown paper packages, string, strudel, doorbells, mittens…they probably combined cost $10.

That’s much easier than my requested big screen TV and a lock of Ryan Reynold’s hair.

Although I suppose you can’t put a price tag on silver-white winters that melt into spring. Except I did. $487,000. Boom.

This post is dedicated to Ilya Horatio as a Patreon reward.