A woman in Ohio called in a 911 call this past week, yelling that a boa constrictor has wrapped itself around her neck and bit her nose and won’t let go.

A fireman eventually cut off its head to get it to release the woman’s possibly ginormous nose.

It turns out she got the snake because she “rescued” it. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Either never rescue snakes or try a different way of meeting sexy fireman other than a reptile eating your face.




This post is dedicated to Ilya Horatio as a Patreon reward.