I’m not trying to be a wet blanket, but I think bread and butter started dating too young.

Butter, for example, is far too young to lock herself in like that. There are so many other carb-type items she could play the market with. Such as bread bowls, baguettes, and bagels. Sliced bread is so plain.

I discussed this with butter, and she said she’d rather melt than be with anyone other than sliced bread. I admire her loyalty.

A few days later, I heard that jam was involved in a threesome with the two. After I got over the shock, it sounded rather delicious. I hope they all find happiness.

This post is dedicated to Ryan L. as a Patreon reward.