I’ve been noticing an increase in page views from Russia and India, so in an attempt to do outreach to those countries, I’ve translated the following message:

Не сжимай мою маринованную сельдь так сильно.

मेरे मसालेदार हेरिंग को इतना मुश्किल से न दबाएं

This is supposed to say “Don’t squeeze my pickled herring so hard,” but who knows if it’s right. If this accidentally starts an international incident, I’m blaming Google translate.